Nausea.

Rolling.
Rolling.
Rolling.
Crash.

Usual.

fresh sheets with fresh-shaven legs interwoven.
i'm not sure what feels more out of place:
clean sheets or smooth legs?
it's morning again, and we're arguing.
nothing new, nothing huge, just sleepy banter.
we do these things we promise not to,
and regret not a second of it.
we will later.
like usual.
the grandma's laughing again,
on the television.
you hate that part.
you complain about it.
like usual.
silence on the line, i find
myself repeating your name again, again, again.
wake up.
wake up.
wake up.
hello? hi, you fell asleep again.
no i didn't. yes you did.
oh.
silence again.
is it crazy to find safety in the empty spaces?
to hide in the open,
right between your eyelashes.
a saftey net
of repeating failures.
we win some,
we lose some.
the usual.

STRANGE.

strange.
i thought i'd find myself to be this incredibly simple person one day.
i'd meet the real me at a cross walk.
shake hands, smile- courtesy is key.
i'd see the answers in my eyes, and walk on free of question.
i thought i'd find myself this person to make me look simple.
a tapestry to stand beside, myself dull and subtle.
i thought i'd fade myself into the background.
one with the flies and the walls and the flies.
i thought i'd find you to be the stranger.
strange enough to outstage me.
i was so wrong, i found absolutely nothing i sought within your eyes.
no answers, no short exchanges and quick goodbyes.
i was so wrong, no intricate obsurdities to outshine mine.
in you i found nothing.
nothing at all, but everything.
you met me at the cross walk.
my head hung low, meek, shamed.
you took my chin in your hands and you looked me in the eye.
no answers, no answers, i saw no answers.
with only questions written on my features.
"quiet" you said.
"the earth is a scary place, it can eat you alive." -
"you need not disappear, nor fear, nor hide."-
"searching all alone, nothing you'll find"-
"only i can see the answers hidden in your eyes."